Winter Warmth

Every other movement, sound, and even feeling, gets blocked out suddenly: except Alice's.

I tighten my arm around her as she buries her head in my chest, leaning down to whisper in her ear. "Are you alright, Alice?"

She shakes her head and mumbles oh so quietly, "I miss being a human."

I take a deep breath and try to process this. It seems like everyone else was too distracted to hear her, thankfully.

Rosalie meets my eyes and furrows her brow. She glances down at my wife then back up to me. Alice's feelings meet my body and I feel invisibility. Invisibility?

"Alice, should we go somewhere?" I rub up and down her arm softly but thoroughly, trying my best to comfort. I wanted- hell, needed- to know why she was abruptly feeling this way. My poor pixie...

I kiss her head, wrapping my additional arm around her.

Still pushing the salt around with one finger, I failed to notice that Jacob was back at my side until I heard him speak, "Scooch over, sweetheart or I'll drink your hot chocolate right now."

Surprised, I glanced up at Jacob before sliding over to this inside of the booth to allow him room to sit down. Once I had moved over, Jacob took his seat, his large body crowding me in closer to the window as he placed the cup down in front of me and throwing an arm on the seat above my head.

"There, drink up while it's still warm,"He nudged it closer to me before taking a gulp of his own drink.

Placing my cold hands around the cup, I stared down at the liquid, letting it warm my fingers and palms. After a moment, I raised my eyes from the liquid and connected them with Mama's across the table.

Curling the corners of my lips, I sent her a small smile before taking a sip of my drink and licking the cream from my lips that was left behind.

"Aunty Alice,"I spoke softly, turning to look at her, "I need some new clothes."

I saw how her eyes immediately lit up and couldn't help but smile back. I wasn't as fond of shopping as Aunty Alice was but I definitely wasn't as opposed to it as Mama. Plus, I really needed new clothing since I noticed that I was getting a little bit taller which wasn't saying much but it was something.

Clapping her heads together, Aunt Alice practically sang out, "Then we'll do a complete wardrobe makeover!"

I let out a shaky breath and nodded, melting into Jasper even more. I gestured for us to head outside. I perked up ever so slightly at the mention of clothing from Renesmee.

I push my thoughts away for the brief moment and clap my hands together, putting on a big smile, "Perfect, Ness, we will have to go shopping right away."

Jasper scooped me up in his arms at that moment and my horrible thoughts came rushing back at me.

"Excuse us, we need a breath of fresh air for a moment," my mate said, his accent shining through ever so slightly.

He walked us quickly through the cafe and outside into the falling snow. He sat us under the tree and I curled into a ball, burying my head in his jacket.

After a few minutes of silence he finally asked in a low voice, "Alice, what's wrong?"

I take a deep breath -- another human thing that I don't need to do but do it anyways. I begin, "Jasper, I'm just missing being a human. I suppose why I force myself to drink these drinks is because I want to try and relive some of them. I'm willing the tea to taste like the tea I had with my Mother but instead it tastes like crap. I want to eat real food again like the ones I ate with my family and some of my family members I can't even remember the names of anymore. It's ridiculous. And just the fact that I'm thinking all this now must mean I'm crazy and I even thought that perhaps I was right to be in there, Jasper, maybe my visions as a human weren't right. I...I just don't know anymore. I don't know why I'm having these thoughts, Jasper, I guess the humans drinks and atmosphere is just getting to me but I...I just want to be invisible right now. I want to melt into your chest and not return for a bit."

I squeezed my eyes shut tight, not wanting to let any light in right now. I just needed my time with my Jasper. I needed to get my head on straight.

At Bella's words, I glance up to see the mu--Jacob talking to the waitress. I look at my daughter, watching her glare at the two ever so slightly, and then manage a small smile before whispering back at Bella, "Seems that way, doesn't it. But it's more so the waitress flirting with him. Jacob is trying to get back to his seat." I listen to Jacob and the blonde's thoughts once more, choosing to ignore the blonde's yelling thoughts about 'how hot he is' and 'oh my gosh, he voice is...wow.' I make a face and in another moment, Jacob pries himself away from her and is back at Renesmee's side.

Another one's thoughts meets my mind and it's Alice's. She thinking about her time as a human and how frustrated she is about not remembering her human father's name. I hear her mumble something to Jasper and he whispers back at her, frowning. I glance at my sister and my daughter asks Alice about her new wardrobe. Maybe she picked up something from Alice, too.

Before I can say anything to comfort my sister or try to help, Jasper is rising from his chair, cradling Alice in his arms and declaring that they need fresh air. We don't even need to breath.

I nod, pulling Bella close to me and returning my attention to Renesmee and Jacob who are now goofing around with their food.

"How's the hot chocolate, Renesmee?" I ask, trying to keep everyone's attention from Alice and Jasper. They needed their own time to get things straightened out. I don't understand why Alice suddenly became so down on herself and wanting to become invisible. Ah, the human food. That was probably it.

Shaking my head to clear it, I blocked out Alice and Jasper's thoughts, not wanting to intrude on their private moment together.

Renesmee watched as Jacob was flirted with by a blonde waitress, I detected that her eyes were feeling a little green, and judging by the glare that she now fixed on her 'competition', I was right. Jacob managed to escape a few moments later, handing Renesmee her hot chocolate, all was well again.

I snuggled Esme further into my arms, enjoying the closeness as we all sat in companionable silence. My wife continued to mesmerize me, I could never grow tired of the pure joy that resonated in my non-beating heart every time she tenderly touched me, or when I become lost in her endless eyes. She was just so beautiful, body and soul. I couldn't possibly survive without her love.

Alice seemed to be trying to disappear into Jasper's lap. She appeared distracted and pained, and I wondered briefly if she had seen a vision, but the way Edward looked at her with a puzzled expression quashed this idea, she must be just feeling down...

Jasper furrowed his brow as he and Alice exchanged words in hushed tones, then he got up, taking his wife with him, saying that they needed some air. I wasn't the only one who thought this odd - we didn't require oxygen, we could function perfectly without breathing at all if we wanted to. Esme looked up at me with worry in her eyes.

"Don't worry, love. I am sure they are fine." I reassured her, squeezing her shoulders softly, and she seemed to relax.

I looked at Edward, who seemed to be busying his mind with his wife and daughter, no doubt attempting to give Alice and Jasper some privacy. I hope they are okay...

Nessie seemed oblivious of the tension that had appeared out of nowhere, she was busy laughing with her Jake. I focused on her care-free mood and soon I was feeling just as unburdened as she was. I rested my head on Esme's, and began to enjoy the soft cuddle once more.

I coughed, choking on my own laughter as Jacob continued to tease me by attempting to stick his fingers in my steaming hot drink.

Glancing up at my Papa's question, I sent him a bright smile, raising the cup up slightly. "It's very good, papa. Warm,"I felt my warm cheeks with my now warmed hands before slamming them onto my cup again to remove it from Jacob's wandering fingers, "At least, it is until Jake sticks his dirty fingers in it," sticking my tongue out at him.

I knew my Papa was trying to draw out attention away from Aunt Alice. She had looked so upset when Jasper whisked her from the room but I knew if anyone could handle it, it would be Uncle Jazz. I didn't like seeing my Auntie upset, it wasn't like her.

I let my eyes meet Papa's once more and smiled, telling him that I was okay even though I was worried about her.

Turning my attentions away from Papa, I looked at Carlisle and Esme and smiled at both of them as well, happy to see them content with each other.

"Grandpa, how was work today?" I asked curiously, tilting my head to the side and awaiting his answer, jabbing Jacob in the ribs with my elbow as I saw him creep closer to my cup.

"Ow, dang, Nessie," I mumble with fake pain as she elbows me in the ribs.

Her attention is on Carlisle and Esme. Instead of taking the opportunity to stick my fingers in her hot chocolate again, I think of what happened with shortie and Jazz.

I meet Edward's eyes. What happened? I mouth. I see his arm around Bella's waist tighten just a bit before he mouths back, Human memories.

I lean back in my seat and think about it. Huh. I knew only faintly of Alice's past....The insane asylum, I think. Well hell, I'd get pretty upset too thinking back to a time like that. But I knew it must be deeper than just that part of it.

Everyone seems to try to be distracting themselves as to not get involved in the couple's business, so I do the same. I tune into the cafe music, nodding my head and tapping my foot.

Bella, her back against Edward, rests her head on his shoulder/neck region, closing her eyes. She mumbles something into his ear but I don't make it out.

My eyes wander around and accidentally meet the waitress's. She smiles at me somewhat flirtatiously. Ugh, I think.

I offer her a polite grin back, then return my gaze to Renesmee. I wrap one of her bronze curls around my finger.

I tried to focus on Grandpa Carli's words but as soon as I felt Jake's hand in my hair and him weaving one of my curls around his finger, I couldn't help but flush.

I don't know why I was so responsive to his touch today. We really weren't doing anything new but for some reason, my face felt so warm. Glancing at him once more, I brought my hot chocolate back up to my lips and took a deep sip of the now perfectly warm beverage.

Trying to distract myself from the twirling of his finger, I looked around the restaurant and felt my eyes land on the waitress from before. She was staring in our direction again, no-- that wasn't right. I was used to my family being stared at, in fact, we were being stared at right now. Because when you put so many good looking vampire in one area, the humans are bound to stare.

No, the waitress was looking at Jacob with a very intense stare. I didn't get why this disturbed me so much, of course she would be looking at him, Jacob was very handsome and practically radiated a joyful aura.

Turning to look at Jacob, I stared at him intently for a moment, forgetting my earlier embarrassment. I was trying to figure out my current feelings, this tightness in my chest and the worry I felt.

"What?" Jacob asked, looking down at me with a confused look on his face. I almost didn't hear the question, I was studying him so hard.

Shaking my head, I turned my attention back down to my cup and tapped my fingers on the glass in a steady rhythm of the song playing within the cafe, "Nothing. Just thinking."

"Grandpa, how was work today?" Renesmee asked me with polite interest.

"It was quite today so there wasn't very much to do, it was a nice change from being rushed off our feet." I smiled back at Ness, whose cheeks had turned a distinctly darker shade of red than usual. Jacob was playing with her curls, and she seemed to be distracted. I chuckled quietly, understanding perfectly well what was running through her head, and snuggled into my wife's arms.

Esme looked up at me with a beautiful smile and I couldn't help but grin back. I gave her a soft kiss, and then resumed my position resting on her head.

"What?" Jacob said. Renesmee was looking at him with a strange expression, staring at him intently.

"Nothing, just thinking" Nessie seemed to be thinking an awful lot indeed.

As I sat, snuggled with Esme, my mind wandered back to Alice and Jasper, who still hadn't returned from outside. I sincerely hoped Alice was okay, this was not like her at all.

I brought my eyes back up to meet Grandpa Carlisle's once more after he spoke and smiled, "That's good then. No emergencies is always a good thing." I sent Grandma a smile as well, she was rather quiet today but then again, she seemed a little distracted by Carlisle.

The rain was still pitter-pattering on the large window to the right of my seat. It actually looked like it wkas getting worse. I could hear the rolling of thunder now and if I peeked out, I could see the frequent flashes of lightning. My hybrid eyes being able to track the course of the bolt.

Yawning slightly, I quickly lifted my hand to cover my open mouth. I felt my eyes water slightly before blinking a little to clear them up, I was a little bit sleepy. I stayed up late last night reading, something I shouldn't have done but the plotline had just been so interesting and I hadn't be able to just set it down before the conclusion of the novel.

Glancing over at movement to the left, I watched as Alice and Jasper rejoined us and both looked rather ruffled. Giggling, I smiled at them. It looked like Uncle Jasper had made Alice feel much better and I was glad for it.

I sat and thought a moment as snow floated around us under the tree. Alice was not only missing being a human, but doubting herself.

"Alice, my sweet, sweet love..." I start, sitting her up so I can look at her. I know she didn't want to, but I needed to look into her eyes. I kept her as close as possible to me, keeping my hands on her shoulders.

"Sometimes, I wonder about my family, too. A lot, actually. More than you would think. I always wonder what would have happened, had I not went to war and been changed. I wonder if I would've had a sixth sense, knowing you were missing from my life. Do you think you would have felt that, too?"

She thinks for a second, then nods in agreement with the slightest upturn of her mouth. "I can't imagine life without you."

I shake my head with a small grin myself. "Nor can I, my dear. Alice...I wish so badly I could give life back to you. I understand Edward so much because I felt how badly he resisted changing Bella, and why. I felt that." I take her hands, squeezing. "And even I feel the same way about you, now. I wish we could be human again, you and I. Go to diners for breakfast...I'd buy you popcorn at the movies..."

Alice chuckles, as do I. I keep both of her hands in both of mine.

"I would meet your family, and you would meet mine. I would make sweet, human love to you, and be the happiest husband on earth to hear we're having a baby a week or so later."

I feel Alice taking all of my words into deep thought.

"...But I wouldn't regret any of this for a minute." My tone changes from sad, too-late hope to grateful. "Meeting you, becoming apart of this incredible family. Getting to spend forever with you."

I stop to kiss her lips, then continue. "You were not crazy, Alice. You had no purpose in that place." I chose not to say asylum as to not upset her, or even myself.

"Don't think of being putting in there for the accusation of why you were. Think of that as a blessing. Hell, I do." I smile. "If it hadn't had been for that, you would have never been changed. We never would have met. This led you to me."

She begins to speak, and I stop her. "And I know that's no excuse- it doesn't stop the pain from knowing you were still put in there, assumed unstable. But-"

I'm cut off by Alice's lips crushing greedily to mine. I cradle her face with one hand and pull her gently closer to me with the other.

After a minute she pulls away, breathless. "Thank you, Jasper," she whispers. I'm shocked.

"Well dear, of course," I speak softly, moving a short strand of her pixie hair away from her forehead. "You don't need to thank me. How do you feel? Do you want to go?"

She takes a deep breath- even for a vampire, plausibly necessary for her right now- and shakes her head. "I want to go be with you and our family. In that cafe." She grins.

I smile and embrace her tightly, inhaling her scent. "I love you, my little soldier, Alice," I tell her.

A small and short laugh escapes her lips into my neck. "And I love you, my tall and handsome soldier, Jasper."

I'm so proud of her. She isn't running away, though that's what she previously felt- to run away with me and hide, to be invisible. Now she wants to be surrounded by the love of our family and I.

We stay entangled in one another on the snowy ground for a few minutes longer, regaining ourselves.

I listen to Jasper's words -- breathing in his scent and feeling the coolness of his breath as he talks. We lay, motionless, together on the ground. I'm curled up tightly against his chest.

I feel my dead, broken heart slowly mend itself together as I listen to him. I feel that depressed feeling slowly ebb away from me. I listen to him carefully, not taking my eyes off him as he speaks -- his accent almost coming through.

He tries to speak some more but I cut him off by kissing him deeply. I whisper my thanks to him.

"I'm better now, you made me better," I touch his nose with a finger and run my fingers through his hair, "I love you so much. I don't know why I get into those moods sometimes. I think seeing everyone's future sometimes has me frantic or something. It's as if I want to be invisible for once because I'll know everything soon enough."

I sigh and rest my head on his shoulder, reaching up and stroking a scar on his neck, "But I shouldn't want to feel invisible to you or my family. I should be proud of my gift and I am at times but...it's just hard, Jazz."

This was good. I needed to speak my thoughts to my mate. He needed to know how I was feeling about everything and how this gift was sometimes a burden to me.

I looked at him and kissed his chin, wondering if he needed to say anything more on the subject. I pressed our foreheads together and simply waited.

Alice runs a hand through my hair, and I practically melt with satisfaction at the feeling. But this isn't about me- this is about her.

I straighten up and hold her tighter. "...You don't want to see visions sometimes? Which causes you to have the desire of invisibility?" I ask tentatively.

She puts her forehead to mine and breathes. I felt terrible; it's not that I didn't understand her. Certainly not that. But it was just difficult to put into words, difficult to make her feel better.

I simply wish I could take away her ability whenever she felt she didn't want it. Seeing everyone's future all the time, how frustrating it could get.

I place a hand on the back of her neck gently and breathe her name. "What can I do....?" I whisper.

Through the years we've been together, we have experienced this issue only a couple times.

I put both hands on either side of her small face. "My love, relax...Don't try to see the future, nor think of it. I'm here...Just relax..."

Immediately I send out waves of calm, relaxation. Keeping my eyes closed, I scoot back against the tree and lay her on my chest.

I begin to hum quietly, stroking her short pixie hair. I barley open my eyes to admire her beyond beautiful pale face, and how her dark hair contrasts so handsomely with it.

"My perfect Alice, forget your troubles..." I hum into a customized song. I glance at the cafe and notice Carlisle and Bella looking with curiosity. They catch my eyes and look away swiftly.

I listen to Jacob and Renesmee playfully banter back and forth and it momentarily gets my mind off my sister.

I notice Bella and Carlisle glance out the window to look at the two who are now curled up under the tree. I still refrain from reading either Jasper or Alice's thoughts as I feel as thought I would be intruding on a private conversation. I pull Bella closer to me as she leans close and whispers, "I hope Alice is okay."

I smile slightly at her and rub her arm, "She always is. She's a tough little pixie."

I hear pieces of Carlisle's thoughts and I know he is worried as well and is wondering if he should go check on her.

I glance at Carlisle who meets my eyes and I shrug. It's up to him. I personally wouldn't but Carlisle is always the one who can help set things right.

Bella laughs softly in my ear, "She sure is."

I'm entranced by my mate's laugh before I have to blink and remember what she said to me. I smile down at her before looking again at my daughter and studying just how much alike her and Bella look.

I slowly nod. My Jasper understands me so well it makes my dead heart swell and I feel as though I love him even more.

"Yes, Jasper, that's exactly it. Most of the visions I have are bad ones anyways and the odd few are good and happy ones. I would like to not have this powerful gift sometimes and just...be a normal vampire. It would be nice to just live in the present and not worry about the future as I'm constantly doing," I murmur to him, keeping my forehead against his, my eyes closed.

He asks me to try and just try not to see the future -- to not think about it at all.

I sigh, "If only I could, Jazz, but it doesn't work that way exactly. People who are close to me are constantly changing their opinions and that's when I see the future," I pause, "but I will try. For you. I will try not to think about the future or see those visions anymore. I will try."

I send him a small smile and open my eyes to stare into his golden ones.

I suddenly feel relaxed and calm. I'm not worried about anything. A happy smile spreads across my face but I tap my finger to Jasper's nose, "You're doing this to me aren't you?"

He sends me a guilty smile, "You need this," and scoots back against the tree, holding me close.

I curl into his chest and close my eyes, listening to his steady breathing as I stay peacefully calm. He tells me to forget my troubles and, right now, I can.

Edward looked at me, and shrugged. I really wanted to go and make sure that Alice was okay. I knew that Jasper was the best to handle it, but I worried. No, it would be best to let them sort it out.

"Are you okay, love?" Esme looked up at me from where her head was resting on my chest. She noticed the small frown my face was wearing. I looked down at her and smiled softly.

"I'm fine, love. Just a little worried about Alice." i kissed her forehead softly and she closed her eyes.

"She will be fine, Carlisle" my wife reassured me, and I leaned my head on hers.

Jacob and Renesmee were busy messing around, at least Nessie seemed oblivious to the worry that was radiating from my family and I. Jacob was handy, and Edward had to admit it. I raised my eyebrow playfully at my bronze-haired son. He chuckled quietly, and turned hid attention back to Bella.

I really hoped that Alice was feeling better.

My eyes are open now, watching my pixie rest on my chest. My breathing is calm and slow. I trail my hand up and down her back slowly and lightly, my other hand rests on hers.

"I wish I could understand better," I murmur. "I wish I could help..."

"Shh," Alice taps her index finger on my chest. "Your very presence is helping me, Jazz."

I chuckle softly and shake my head. "You know what I mean, Alice. Despite your feelings radiating onto me, I cannot fully comprehend this unless I have your ability."

I feel her nod in understanding against my chest. It feels good...

"You know," I say, continuing my ritual along her back, "I sometimes wish I never had this...this so-called gift to feel everyone's emotions."

"You do?"

I laugh quietly. "Of course. Feeling so many things at once from different people. I'm sure Edward feels the same way with his mind reading- the only mind he wants to hear is Bella's. And Renesmee's, but he can already do that." I smirk as I glance to my brother in the cafe window.

"Though it comes in handy, it's a pain in the ass," I laugh with my wife, who has begun to chuckle into my coat. "Especially with Emmett and Rose; when they get turned on? Ho, forget it. I want this ability out the door."

Alice's petite figure is now shaking with laughter, as is mine. I lean down and kiss her head, now rubbing her back with the full weight of my hand.

"Some days you have no desire to see what will happen in the near future; sometimes I don't want to feel anyone's emotions; I'm sure 99% of the time, Edward does not want to hear the thoughts of our own family; and as for Bella.... Hell, that shield only helps her." I laugh. "But that's what makes us so special."

I swiftly move Alice's body up a bit, so her face is near my neck. I cradle her delicate face with one hand and gradually lean down for a kiss.

I allow my tongue to gently slip into her mouth, and I refrain from moaning.

"You're so incredible, Alice. I love you."

I was getting cheesier by the day. But I meant every word.